This is an entry in the Ending It series, which chronicles my thoughts as my wife and I go through the process of separation.
One of the many uncomfortable parts about getting a divorce is interacting with customer service reps for financial institutions to separate everything. It's not exactly ideal to start with, "I'm getting divorced, so...," but at some point in the process, they will likely figure it out. That normally leads to the rep becoming a little more quiet and choosing his/her words more carefully.
One of the many uncomfortable parts about getting a divorce is interacting with customer service reps for financial institutions to separate everything. It's not exactly ideal to start with, "I'm getting divorced, so...," but at some point in the process, they will likely figure it out. That normally leads to the rep becoming a little more quiet and choosing his/her words more carefully.
After my wife and I figured out who would be getting what, she gave me the agreed-upon credit cards, and I called all those companies to remove her as an authorized user. The majority of the calls followed the script above: the reps were pretty cheery at the beginning, then more somber as they realized what prompted the request. Then there was the American Express rep.
He was bubbly from the start. Even when he asked the questions to verify my identity, I got the feeling I was listening to a DJ do his mid-morning set. "Hey, call number five! What's your security passcode!?" After establishing my identity, he very enthusiastically asked what he could do for me (using my name). I replied I needed to remove an authorized user from the account.
At this point, I expected him to calm down a bit and realize the person on the other end likely wasn't excited to be making this call. My wife and I were the only authorized users on the card, and me removing her seems to be a pretty obvious clue my life might not be so awesome right now. Not this guy. I'll be paraphrasing him, but some of it is verbatim. Keep in mind he's in full DJ mode the entire time.
Rep: Alright, I can totally help you out with that.
Me: Great.
Rep: OK, do you have the card in your possession?
Me: I do.
Rep: Great! Got it out of her hands already.
Me: ...
Rep: Give me just a few second to make the changes. So you would like to continue using the card, correct?
Me: Correct.
Rep: Awesome.
<10-second pause>
Rep: OK, she is completely removed from the account, and you can destroy that card. Can't get to your rewards anymore! [this was a cash rewards card]
Me: Uh, yeah.
Rep: Is there anything else I can help you out with today, man?
Me: I'll just need to know your name. My lawyer said I should get the reps' names when I do all this.
Rep: Cool. My name's Matthew!
Me: Great, thanks Matthew.
Rep: No problem. Hey, you have an absolutely fantastic day, man!
Me: You as well.
At this point, I expected him to calm down a bit and realize the person on the other end likely wasn't excited to be making this call. My wife and I were the only authorized users on the card, and me removing her seems to be a pretty obvious clue my life might not be so awesome right now. Not this guy. I'll be paraphrasing him, but some of it is verbatim. Keep in mind he's in full DJ mode the entire time.
Rep: Alright, I can totally help you out with that.
Me: Great.
Rep: OK, do you have the card in your possession?
Me: I do.
Rep: Great! Got it out of her hands already.
Me: ...
Rep: Give me just a few second to make the changes. So you would like to continue using the card, correct?
Me: Correct.
Rep: Awesome.
<10-second pause>
Rep: OK, she is completely removed from the account, and you can destroy that card. Can't get to your rewards anymore! [this was a cash rewards card]
Me: Uh, yeah.
Rep: Is there anything else I can help you out with today, man?
Me: I'll just need to know your name. My lawyer said I should get the reps' names when I do all this.
Rep: Cool. My name's Matthew!
Me: Great, thanks Matthew.
Rep: No problem. Hey, you have an absolutely fantastic day, man!
Me: You as well.
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